People. I know I said I’d entertain you on occasion, but honestly… do you have to start calling me in the middle of the night begging me to tell you what’s wrong with Thor.
The answer is, of course: Yes!
Why hasn’t anyone called me? I put my number right there on the page a dozen posts ago with strict orders to never call me. Are you all conspiring behind my back to make me believe that reversed psychology doesn’t work?? Because if you are, I’ll totally believe in it even more. Reverse psychologize yourself out of that one.
Ok, never mind that. Let’s return to what’s really important. Thor and its completely illogical plot. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, here’s a plot summary. But it’s probably easier to keep in mind that if you are a guy and rank a 3 or lower on the Kinsey scale, you’re not missing out on anything. In fact, watching the film will most likely lead to some serious self-loathing. And if you are a girl, you’re not missing out on much either… O wait. I forgot to mention that Thor has a body you just want to lick vanilla ice cream off. True Story, and I don’t even like vanilla. So perhaps you should watch it… preferably with your boyfriend if you’re trying to get him to go to the gym.
Alright, let’s get to the point. What hideous crimes did Kenneth Branagh commit by making this picture? What was so incredibly bad that it deserves an entire blog post list those wrongs? And why in the world did the world, if the movie was so bad, did I watch it twice?
London Express. 