I felt it has been a while since I last said anything useful on this blog. So, I thought I’d mix it up a bit and talk about something that has slightly less to do with furry kittens and more with that thing I went here to do…
What was that again… O yes, writing.
Writing screenplays to more be specific.
I dropped my Post-apocalyptic breakfast club for now. I still think it’s a great idea but I feel very strongly I am not yet capable (and wonder if I ever will be) to write that particular film. Perhaps some day, or perhaps with a great screenwriter who gets what I want to do. (Great screenwiters, feel free to Apply anytime)
But if you think that by dropping that mean little beast I have now less on my plate, you couldn’t be more wrong!! All of the sudden I find myself outlining one potentially commercial project for television, Half went off in such a direction that I have to start researching all again and to top it all off, I started writing fiction again, just to get away from all the structure of screenwriting.
So as you can see; busy like an evil overlord plotting the destruction of the known universe.
And while at times it gets tedious and frustrating… I mean, I’ve stared at multiple computer screens, notebooks and a wall filled with note cards for over two months now, and I’m again starting with what was once Half. from scratch. If you were to look at it from the outside you would probably think I made no progress at all. I just wrote stuff and threw it all out again. Not a second glance, not a regret…
But also, I don’t feel like I wasted my time. (Though perhaps those couple of days when I was trying to catch up on Fringe and then I just watched Fringe for three days straight and couldn’t sleep because it was so awesome I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen next…) Every one of those attempts and effort went into creating the seed of the idea I’m now working on.
And that’s how it should be. Writing is a journey of discovery. It’s not like you walk into your office, sit down, jot some words on paper and voilà, there’s a story. It takes a lot of work and effort and coffee to get anywhere. It can go in so many directions, and sometimes you just need to eliminate those paths that won’t get you where you want to go. It’s not like you can see from the beginning of the road where you will end up, so you need to walk it to see for yourself. Every single path, and they all branch off in other paths and those branch of in other paths again. Ad Infinitum. Sometimes it shows you a way you didn’t think was going to be interesting… But then you are there, wandering those paths and you find you want to go somewhere completely else. Somewhere you hadn’t planned on going… But now you’re going down that road, it seems a lot better than all those other paths…
That’s basically where I am at now. Half. has been shelved. Probably forever. Instead it’s turning into this wonderful new adventure with wonderful new friends and worlds and images to play with. I’m not going to say much about it. All I will tell you is that it’s called “A Very Grimm Adventure” and it deals with the destructive nature of fairy-tales. I find it very exciting and very difficult. Right now I’m still looking for the right kind of tone, but already I’m having so much fun with it all.
And that’s all I’m going to say for now. When I get further in the project I’ll probably elaborate on it a bit more. For now it’s still too delicate and too unstable to discuss. I don’t yet know what it is exactly. And until I do, I simply cannot speak of it. I did it once, to a friend who was very enthusiastic and came up with some ideas, but it nearly killed my idea because it was still so fragile. The seed hadn’t hatched. It still needs some time to grow and develop; it still needs a lot of fucking work to make it work.
But fortunately I do have one person I can bounce my ideas off and have constructive chats with. I nicknamed him Major Awesome, and not for no reason. It’s very nice to have that person who understands what you want and how fluid an idea really is. We spent two afternoons on Skype trying to come up with ideas for this world and our Characters. He mostly steps in whenever I am stuck and bounces some ideas around with me. He comes with suggestions, points me to things I have overlooked and always urges me to stay on Character. I don’t know if I could write without him, but I do know that I don’t want to write without him.
And I think for everyone who is doing the things we do, you should have that person you can trust completely… Creatively. And don’t give me the crap that you have a boyfriend who you trust completely. That’s not the same (I assume). First of all, those things inevitably end in tears and you’ve lost your writing partner. Second of all… Who in the world trusts their boyfriend? That’s just ridiculous.
No, what you need is a writing buddy. You don’t need him to type, you just need someone to fall back on, to wrench open your brain when it’s got itself stuck. Someone to help you approach things from a different angle… and most importantly, someone who you can rely on to tell you it’s crap. Someone who is always honest with you… So that when he or she says it’s crap… you know it’s crap. This is important, because when they tell you it’s good. It’s really good.
And that is sometimes hard to believe or see when you are buried underneath self-doubt and confused about what it is you’re trying to do. Whatever people say about writing. It isn’t easy. It’s hard and difficult and we need those people to fall back on. Who understand us… who understand the story… and most importantly, who understand that some times we just need to hear that we are not completely wasting our lives trying to do what we’re doing.
So, to my good friend Major Awesome, a very heartfelt Thank you. And a promise that this week you’ll have some new stuff to read.