Turns out Rihanna and Eminem are Batshit Insane

They even look like they just escaped from the mental asylum.

So, in one of my desperate attempts to get Rihanna out of my head (and get some sleep) I looked up the lyrics to the song… Turns out, Eminem and Rihanna are batshit insane.

At first I thought I must have misunderstood the words, or something.. modern poetry and all that.. But I read it again. I didn’t. It actually says this. Lemme break it down for you

Love The Way You Lie – Eminem Ft. Rihanna

I edited out the beginning of the text. You won’t miss it. If you do.. Look it up. It’s boring and the phrasing is godawful without the music underneath.
Here we go again, it’s so insane
Cuz when it’s going good, it’s going great
I’m Superman with the wind in his back
She’s lois lane when and it’s bad, it’s awful
I feel so ashamed, I snap “Who’s that dude?”
I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on him, I never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength
OK, so here he sets up the fact that these two people are in a relationship what experts would call ‘A pattern of abuse and destruction, so you’d better run bitch!’. The man doing the fast talking to the music is obviously also delusional and doesn’t have the firmest grip on reality. He thinks he’s Kal-El (as if) and she’s the boring, bland but hot reporter sidekick lady…And what would Superman do, if he saw his lady talk to another man… Of course, he would kick the crap out of this man…

By the way, eminem… If you want to reference Superman… Do you honestly think the man of Steel would give a crap if the wind was in his back or not.. Like he’d notice. He’s too busy being faster than light… Besides.. He has superhuman freeze breath. He can just change the friggin currents. Think about it.

[Chorus – Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Rihanna, you do realize that young girls listen to this song, right?!? I can empathize that this is truly the way you feel… But should a pop star such as yourself advertise this. Probably not. You should probably add the disclaimer… But it’s not OK that someone makes you feel like this, young impressionable girl listening to this song

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Like I said before… I don’t get this sentiment at all. “I love the way you Lie”. I may not be an expert in the relationship department, but I do know a thing or two about lying.
Piece of advise… Lying is never OK… If that dress makes you look fat, you want to know… Because otherwise you look like an idiot all night long.
(Yea, ladies. Let’s go there. Some items of clothing don’t suit your body.. and we don’t all look like models. That’s ok. And if we look ridiculous… It’s nice that someone has our backs and says so. Quit complaining that your significant other has to find you attractive. Always. Period. You don’t find him attractive. Always. Period. You don’t find yourself attractive always. I know this because when I look in the mirror in the morning… Well, let’s not go there. )

[Verse 2 – Eminem]
You ever love somebody so much,
you could barely breathe when you with ’em?
It’s called a respiratory disorder, Eminem.. you might want to have that checked out.
You meet, and neither one of you even know it hit ’em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills used to get ’em
Warm feelings followed by Chills. Once again. Doesn’t sound like Love. Sounds like you have the flu.. This song just does not make sense to me.
Now you gettin’ fuckin’ sick of lookin’ at ’em
You swore you’d never hit ’em, never do nothing to hurt ’em
Now you’re in each other’s face spewing venom in your words when you spit ’em
You push, pull each other’s hair, scratch, claw, bit ’em
Throw ’em down, pin ’em, so lost in the moments when you’re with ’em
And here’s where they’ve lost me… When you start describing your partner with words like venom, pin ’em down etc. You just remind me of Ted Bundy (who always reminds me of Jack Nicholson for some reason) or some terrible Sit-com from the ’60 where the couple is long overdue for a divorce, but that wouldn’t be done so we’re just going to make uncomfortable jokes about it.

It’s the fate that took over, it controls you both
Yea, because one should never take responsibility for one’s own actions…
So they say, you’d best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya cuz today,
That was yesterday, yesterday is over and it’s a different day
A bit stating the obvious there, don’t you think??
Sound like broken records playing over
But you promised her, next time you’d show restraint
Wow. Seriously. The vampire from Twilight must have taken notes from you, because man o man… I thought he was a textbook abuser… But you… Just.. Wow.
You don’t get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Sidenote: I wish my life were Duck hunt. I’d rock my life!
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that’s why they call it “window pane”
Ok, Window Pane.. You had me there for a second. You made me smile. Sorry, I can’t help myself when I see a good pun. Kudos Eminem.

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn’t mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same team
But your temper’s just as bad as mine is
You’re the same as me
When it comes to love you’re just as blinded
Yes, fine. Perhaps there are two people at fault here. But hello! If you can see that, wouldn’t it be time to walk away. Perhaps be the better man. Cut and run. That kinda stuff. Take some responsibility instead of blaming it all on fate…

But of course not…
Baby please come back, it wasn’t you. Baby it was me.
Maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
Hey Eminem, here’s the thing. Neither the volcano nor the tornado would get hurt, because they are inanimate fucking objects. Besides, I thought you were Superman? This song is getting really confusing.
All I know is I love you too much, to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Eyeball… yuck. That’s just disgusting.
Next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the drywall
Wow… for me?! That’s so sweet. You’re my hero.
Next time? There won’t be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fuckin’ leave again,
Ima tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
Wow. . . … … … ……. …. … *Silence*…….. .. …… …. …*Cries in quiet desperation at the state of modern pop music* ……….. ………. .


So I did some research and Eminem gets a lot of credit for depicting abusive relationships in such a realistic manner. But I don’t see him actually condemn it anywhere… I see neither of the two well-respected superstars say THIS IS BAD.

I know it’s bad. And you do too, hopefully. But there are a lot of 14 year old Twilight fans out there, who already have messed up ideas about relationships. I don’t think they should have to infer that it is bad. With things like this… You want to be on the nose about it, and then some, so that there can never be any freaking mistake that you DO NOT CONDONE this kind of behavior.

So, with that in mind, it was probably not the best idea to make the music video to this song so awesome and sexy, with high-speed shots of flames licking the walls. (Love it…) Because between Eminem threatening to set his girlfriend on fire and Charlie the Hobbit from Lost doing Tequila shots of a semi-naked Megan Fox (Is that really her name, sounds like a stripper name to me), the meaning may have gotten a bit lost (hah! Used the word lost twice in this sentence!)

What meaning, you ask?? (Because by now, everyone is checking out the music video and forgetting all about the purpose of this rant…

Well, that it is never acceptable to physically or mentally abuse your partner.

Even if the bitch is the chick from Transformers who got fired for being a terrible actress, you justifiably ask (because who wouldn’t take a swing at that…)??

Yes… Even then.




Unless you dump her ass, and wait for her in a dark alley and beat her up then.. But this is something I’m only presenting to you because you read this entire post and decided you wanted more and clicked on the link.. (Which was awesome of you, BTW)

And I am only telling you this because I really do not think Megan Fox is an actual person. She’s just a CGI character pasted into everything…

Which, now you think of it, explains so much… am I right, am I right?!

You see. Others agree with me.


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