Hey Hollywood — You’re officially done now.

Hey Hollywood,

We have had a long standing relationship, and up to now it has been pretty good. Sure, there were some disappointments along the way. I think we both know what happened on the 22nd of May, 2008[1] when you brutally slaughtered Indiana Jones with no regards for my feelings. At all.

I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t bring it up again… but you hurt me.

I know I hurt you too. I hurt you when I continuously failed to show up for the latest Transformers film.  And I may have disappointed you when I refused to watch any film in 3D, ever. But I think that was for both our good.

We’ve struggled on for as long as we could, but I can no longer stand by and watch you destroy yourself. Please listen to me… You can be so inspiring, entertaining, creative, surprising, mindblowingly beautiful. Please, I’ve seen that in you so many times. Why are you giving up on that person? And for what… Some bunch of Jersey Shore watching morons who do not appreciate you the way I do?? Why do you not have more faith in how truly amazing you can be… Can you not see what I see in you every day? Where is the spark gone?

So, my dearest friend…  Consider this an intervention. I am writing you as a lover and friend to tell you that you are done. You’ve tried very hard.. But I think it is time to take a break, take a breath and survey everything you’ve done.

Because you’ve done pretty good. You kept me company when I needed it the most; when I was tired and the world seemed like a dark place you gave me Casablanca, The Godfather, Star Wars, A touch of Evil, Edward Scissorhands, Vertigo, The Dark Knight, E.T., Aladdin, Drive, 12 angry men, Blade Runner and not to mention Indiana Jones and shots of the impeccable abs of various beloved superheroes.

And I thank you for that.

But if this…this thing… is all you have left to offer, I think it’s time for you to quit. If the creativity is so sucked out of you, that all you can do is rehash baby books; I think it’s time to wither and die. When all you have left to give, is Cameron Diaz talking about her boobs and babies…. For the love of God.. Before someone truly gets hurt… End it! Just end it!!

End yourself now!

Please, I beg of you.

No more torture!

 

1 No, I did not look that up.
Yes, I know the date Indiana Jones 4 (or as I like to call it…The movie that does not exist) was released better than I know my own Birthday.
No, this is not strange at all.

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