If these Animals could Speak…

The things we humans do to our pets… Sometimes they are unspeakable.

For instance, apparently a lot of people enjoy dressing their pet up in a Christmas costume. Turns out, most pets don’t really care for it. They can’t vocally protest this, but the looks on their faces speak for themselves.

Cats:
Our majestic Feline friends; those proud creatures that inspired many a myth and legend. Tell me, what happened??

Just don’t make any sudden movements and slowly back
away, Mr. Paws… These people are clearly crazy

.

Yea, you can say cheese and smile all you want now,
but wait till you’re asleep… Imma kill you. Bitch.
And that FAT son of yours too.

.

 I look like Satan’s fashion handicapped cat.
why??     Just… why?

.

You can make me wear these ridiculous
clothes, but you can’t make me smile!
Fluffles smiles for no man!

.

Dogs:
Man’s most faithful friend, our betrayal of you is so much worse. While cats can loath and terrorize their owners forever, you can’t help but to love and forgive them. My heart weeps for you.

Angel: “Did you know that in China they eat dogs?”
Santa’s little Helper: “I wish I was in China right now.”
Angel: “So do I.”

.

I really thought they loved us…

.

Why are you doing this to me?

.

Every Fucking Year…

.

Really?? does this make you feel festive…
because I just feel used!

.

I know I like to be dragged around in a handbag…
But if you don’t take this shit off me right now,
I’m moving to the street…
You’ve gone too far, crazy lady.

.

Please, don’t let any of my friends see me..
please, please plea…. O… Goddamn!

.

Rodents:
But the madness doesn’t end with out cats & dogs. No sir! Nothing escapes the madness of these people, except perhaps the irony of dressing up a rabbit for Christmas.

Really, it wasn’t enough to decorate me with
ridiculous chains and balls, you had to stuff
a tree down my throat!

.

I thought torture was forbidden by the Geneva Convention…
Why are you doing this? Can’t you just eat me already?

.

What’s become of us?? I remember when my species

used to spread the plague… oh, how I long for
those days to return!!

.

Birds:
And I think I can safely assume that now we are crossing over into the territory of animal cruelty. This is not OK. Also, probably not suitable for children or people with a weak stomach. They might be traumatized for life… or at least throw up (Aim away from the computer! You’re welcome!).

I just crawled out of my egg,
but if this is it… Life.
The whole Shebang!…
I’d rather not go on. No sir, NO thank you.

.

i’d rather star in happy feet 3.
it’d be a lot less degrading.

in case you didn’t believe it the first time…
yes, I am a penguin dressed up as Santa Claus.
Bet you never heard that from the local WWF.
well, people. you’d better believe it, cause it’s real!!

 

.

The 99 percent
We share almost 99 percent of our DNA with them. They are our closest cousins… and still we feel it’s OK to do this?

I’m really high right now and I’m pretending
this is all a dream… like inception.
I love that movie. a dream within a dream within
a dream within a snow castle within the mind
of that chinese guy within the mind of leonardo
dicaprio. yea. i’m really high right now. please
don’t tell my mom…

.

The first chance I get,
I’m gonna throw my poop at you.

.

And with that, this freak show has come to an end. It must… because I cannot bear this any longer. So I bid you all a good night, and I’m gonna let the Lion take it from here. I think she said it the best in this picture…

YOU PEOPLE DISGUST ME. I CAN'T LOOK AT YOU. GO AWAY!


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