There’s stuff in the fridge that will expire after I’m gone. Fresh stuff. Stuff that has a limited shelf life. Milk. Yoghurt. That sort of stuff.
It’s just standing there -chilled-, freaking me out.
When your expiration date is shorter than milk, you know your time is almost up.
A week from now, I’ll be sitting in the train. I’ll probably still be in the Netherlands, but closing in on Belgium soon. The flat lands will flash past the windows, while the hills of France come running towards me. I won’t be paying much attention to it, I guess. I’ll be engrossed in a novel or a film trying not to think about what the fuck I’m doing. But if I do happen to look outside, I’ll see my entire life disappear behind me. I’m stepping into the unknown (whilst sitting on my ass:).
With one week to go, I am desperately searching for a house. I had a room, but it fell through about last week. So now the search continues, and the fact that I’m overseas seems to make this really difficult. It all comes down to how much you trust people, and I don’t trust people at all. (No matter how much you pay your therapist… They never seem to be able to sort these things out. :) But I remain hopeful that I’ll find something. If not now, then when I do get there within the week.
But not knowing where I’ll live makes this whole adventure slightly more daunting. It’s harder for me to picture it in my head, which makes it harder for me to believe it is real. I still need to get a lot of stuff in order, so I need to know it’s real…
But I also know that things’ll turn out fine in the end. They always do. So, I’m content not doing them for a couple of more days.
Because I’ll be gone soon… And I’m thinking about the expiration dates on milk… which is an odd thing to think about. It’s somewhat depressing. And quite pointless.
But what else can I do. It’s much better than staring at my dog all day; feeling guilty for leaving her. And don’t get me wrong. I might be kinda freaking out about leaving. I’m really looking forward to London. I do know I want to find a job there asap. I’ve been sitting at home for a week now, and it is completely boring. Wow.
What do people do all day except for staring at milk cartons?