It’s Day 3 of the National Novel Writing Month, and I’m giving up. Not entirely, but I already know I’m not going to write 50.000 words this month.
Basically, came down to a choice between enjoying my time left here with my friends, or escaping to some fantasy story. Don’t get me wrong. I would love to escape to my own safe little fantasy world, where anything (to some extend) would go as I planned it. Hell, it’s one of the reasons I became a filmmaker… absolute control. I love it!
But in the end, I am realizing that I can spend only so much time with the people I care about. I will miss out on so much when I am gone… And they will miss out on so much of me (I almost pity them). Who are they gonna ask to do their homework. Who are they gonna make fun of. Who are they gonna ask for help with their problems. And who are they gonna look to for organizing awesome surprise parties (Because they suck at it, trust me. My friends do not know how to create that surprise that actually surprises you.)
I did write some words today, but mostly I realized that I shouldn’t. I should be here right now. I should prepare for London. I should enjoy these last moments I have left here, instead of running off on weird tales of adventure in my mind.
So, I deleted the blog. Maybe next year, but for now I am focussing on other things. For one thing, that impending doom called: The Goodbye. I am fucking dreading it. There’s no other way to say it. I’m nauseous to the point where I don’t want to eat anymore. I fall into these weird comatose sleeps… everywhere.So yea, my body is freaking out. I almost rebooked my ticket to the 10th so I wouldn’t have to do it; say Goodbye. I hate endings. They are never as good as you’d hoped (Imagine how I feel about dying. Forever bummed out because it wasn’t as grandiose as I’d hoped:)
I’m looking forward to being in London, though. So, I’m holding on to that, just two more weeks… And in the mean time, I’m spending as much time as possible with my friends.
So, no novel any day soon… But in return some awesome JannekeRood quality time!