I just finished a painting. It wasn’t particularly big or hard, still it took me two years to finish it. The only reason I finished it after two years is because I am moving in a month and I wanted it done before then. While I was doing this painting; I wasn’t looking for housing; I wasn’t looking for a job; I wasn’t checking out insurance policies or figuring out what else I should get in order before the Big Move. Basically, I was procrastinating on something I used to procrastinate from (hence the two years of painting).
I’m not big on schedules or to do lists. Like every other living person on this planet, I’ll wait till the last second to start on something… then wait some more, and then maybe do it. I usually get by because, let’s face it, Art school is a laugh and I have little other responsibilities anymore…
It’s not that I am a horrible planner, or that I don’t have a clear view at what must be done… I just don’t like being pinned down… Having to stick to someone’s plan (even if it is my own) kinda freaks me out.
So, when I decided to move to England I booked a ticket… And I left it at that. I figured I’d figure everything else out later.
Everyone kept asking me what I’d do and where the hell I would live.
And I shrugged it all off. It was all going to be one big Adventure. I didn’t care about those things…. Those where problems for later.
Except now it is starting to become later… and later.
And I really do believe it’s going to be a really big adventure. And that it’s great to not be pinned down and not be entirely clear on what the future is going to bring. I’m curious to see where I’ll end up. It might be right back where I started, it might be some place completely different. I might end up as ruler of the galaxy, or I might end up bitter and hating the world… Or just somewhere on the spectrum between those two extremes (though I’m keeping my finger’s crossed for King of the Galaxy).
But what I do know that I’ll be getting off a train in the middle of November. It will be cold, and most likely raining. I’ll be tired, homeless and jobless, walking through a (semi-)strange city where I hardly know anyone with two bags in tow and nowhere to go. Evening will start to fall, and there I am. All alone. Lost.
And all of the sudden it doesn’t sound like a great adventure anymore. Sure, we should expect some hardship… But should I go looking for it immediately? Probably not.
Thus far the only thing I have planned is which shoes I am going to pack. So, with little more than a month to go, it’s time for me to really get my stuff together. If I am serious about moving to London, for however long it might be, I must start acting seriously about it. It cannot be some half-arsed rush job. That way, I’m not going to last a week there… and I really am serious about this. It’s supposed to be awesome!
So, tomorrow I have the day off. I’m going to stop sabotaging myself by general laziness. I’m going to sit down, and finally do what I so loathe. I’m going to prepare myself…. Make a plan. Make a budget. Make a schedule. Make some phone calls.
I produced my own movies. That was hard. I loved doing that… This should be a piece of cake.
I can do this.
(I’m trying to psyche myself up… I really do loathe planning.)
Keep you posted!!!